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Commitment Phobia And Men
The Peculiarity
Commitment anxiety among men is not new. It had been there for more than we can ever know. Men were noted for their reluctance to bail out their free rein. And a sworn relationship, like a wedlock, would constantly - at the least in their psyche - cut [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] them off from that autonomy of being a bachelor.
Men [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] are, traditionally, truly free. They fond to do and resolve things for themselves, and by themselves. [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] Being wedded, for one, would cause him no longer able to do all things he likes the way he [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] chooses. There is even an old fish story about it: "It is said that the bride wears white coiffure because white represents tranquility and healthiness. If that's truthful, then why does the groom invariably [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] wrapped in black?"
But, despite fear of committed relationships among men [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] had been there for ages, it had never been earnest problem until recently. Today, more and more men are found to have to a fright to sworn relationship to some magnitude, [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] even to the extent of phobia. Yes, more and more males have commitment dread today! What are the source of it? And how can we deal with it?
The Origin
In today's world, the causes of afraid of commitment in men are no longer as unmistakable as in a couple decades ago. Though it's nevertheless actual that the main source for fear of committed relationships among men is their qualm to resign free [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] rein, today the advancements that women have reaped also take an an eminent role.
Myriads of women now are financially much more unaffiliated. And more and more occupations, that [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] were traditionally dominated by men now have been assumed to women.
For ages, men usually have the position as provider for his blood. That portrayal had bestowed them faculty of soundness. They knew that their pedigree (spouse and kids) needed them. The feeling of being needed gave him feel useful.
The modern developments, as well as the advancements in newscasting engineering that make it easier for everyone of us to follow every rumor and lifestyle among celebrities with all their [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] scandalous stories, have degraded many more men's certainty and feeling of surety. The news around how many women now can break their men easily and steal their money, as well as their own bad experiences with women in their lives make the construct of being committed for a lifetime relationship to only one woman is unthinkably scary!
And not only that. The nonchalance trend now to sleep with women anytime they need also contributes greatly to their reluctance to be involved in committed relationships. There are more women now who are willing to do one night stand with a man they hardly even know. And also that "friend with benefit" trends that is so common today makes many men feel that a committed relationship is superfluous.
What Next
I imagine there's no such thing as a clear answer for this. If you are already in a interrelationship with [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] a man with commitment anxiety, then [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] there are only two choices: either to get a break and guard [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] yourself from more forthcoming disconcert and misery, or to aid him to subdue his commitment phobia . The second selection [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] of course is not easy. It will surely weaken you mentally and emotionally. But the selection is yours to make. The key is, perseverance and endurance.
Honestly, I will not commend to keep your kinship with him unless you know with certainty, with all you heart and spirit, that he is "the one" for you, your true one. But, even if he is, I tell you: your struggle to win him will not be easy. You may need to stop seeing him for a few weeks or even months (after having a heart-to-heart conversation on the topic about what you need from him in the affiliation) to give him time and space to solve his problems. If he genuinely loves you, then he will come to a point where he gets the picture that the thing he fears the most is losing you, not committing to you.
And for you who have not been in liaison, there are many signs of fear of commitment that you can use to evaluate whether a man is a sufferer of afraid of committed relationships or not. Preventing is unceasingly easier than curing. So, if you perceive that a love interest suffers a fearful of commitment , do yourself a favor: run away! Unless... of course, you know deep within your heart that he is "the one and only one" created for you.
Excerpt from and .
The writer is a marriage and relationship expert. He is also the constructor of , an address where everyone can get free, quality advice for [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] their romantic and family interrelation troubles.
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Submitted : 2010-07-20 02:05:34Word Count : 808Popularity: 67Tags: commitment phobia, fear of commitment
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